Changes. . .

Mid-week, and this May morning brings intermittant sun and rain-darkened clouds, switching between sun and shadow, much like me. Since learning Allen has Parkinson's disease, I feel optimistic (maybe he'll remain in the early stages for a long time), and then those darker thoughts come. I try to write and yet end up stepping away from my current project. That goal of writing 300 words a day, 4K a month seems unattainable, and, yes, I feel inadequate, despite having reached 50K already and setting a date to finish the first rough draft by December 2025.

Later today, I'm Zoom meeting with a group of writers to talk about chapbooks. Yes, I have poems, have already published one chapbook, but what will I do with these poems, a few hundred, that remain unread? And when Allen needs me, I don't care about the writing, the morning, I just want to be there for him, steady and strong. Even if I feel like crying.

If I say nothing can be changed, that feeds into inadequacy. The reality is that change comes to us all. So, today, I shall float along with those clouds, feeling the sun, ready to make a commitment: Work to be positive. Take those small steps that create order and peace and harmony in a world that will keep changing.

May the change that comes your way strengthen you.

For now, I'm working on today's menu and grocery shopping. I've given up on that weekly major shopping. Too much gets simply tossed aside. I'd rather do smaller trips, twice a week. Found a recipe for Baked Eggplant Rolls stuffed with ricotta pesto. Nice salad on the side. Probably leftovers for tomorrow.

Cherry tree spotted on a walk near our home