Burble, burble . . . BLURB!

What's the difference between a book description that appears on the back of your book AND a book description that shows up on an online sales point like Amazon or Barnes and Noble or Smashwords?

Note: These book descriptions (also known as 'blurbs') should never be confused with a synopsis intended for a potential agent or publisher; a synopsis reveals the entire plot. A book blurb is the worm on the hook -- not the whole fish!

A writer on one of the writer's forum reading lists I check in on was complaining about flat sales and wondered if the problem could be the cover. The cover looked pretty good to me, so I jumped over to Amazon to check out his book. Was I surprised. No book description! After my note, the writer posted a very, very short description.

Since I'm madly writing, rewriting, and revising my own blurbs for the launch of Standing Stones (descriptions for the book cover and websites for e-book and paperback versions), I wanted to see if my intuitions about what the main elements of a book blurb match what other writing gurus say.

Back of the book: I feel pretty strongly that the back of the book should introduce the genre, the story line, the characters, and the primary conflict in a way that intrigues the reader. The book blurb needs to makes the reader really want to read the rest of the story -- and, in the best of circumstances, buy that darn book right now!.

I'd add a little info about the writer, a picture of the writer, maybe a website, and any other little bit of information that adds credibility. Keep in mind we writers have about 6 seconds to reach our readers.

Online book description: We have a little more elbow room when we're writing the book description that appears on Amazon or a similar online sales venue. The purpose remains the same: Entice the reader into wanting to read the book and buy the book!

So again we introduce the genre, the story line, the characters, and the primary conflict, showcasing our best writing skills. Here, we can add more depth, say 3-4 paragraphs instead of 1-2, and perhaps add a sentence or two that highlights favorable reviews. Many writing coaches tell us that reviews are the primary way to solidify the sell.

To get started, I have been reading blurbs by writers of historical fiction (my genre) in online settings, the library, and walk-around bookstores, trying to identify what catches my eye, what makes me want to read this particular book.

What can we learn from writing gurus?

• Write emotionally to reach novel readers (from Savvybookwriters)
• Get testimonials from famous writers (also from Savvybookwriters)
• Use a formula (from Marilynn Byerly)  She provides examples!
• Hook the reader with your interesting protagonist and her/his quest (from Amy Wilkins on Romance University) Can you do this in one sentence?
• Don't give away the whole plot. Consider just the first 25% of the story (also from Amy Wilkins on Romance University)
• Think of the first line of your blurb as a pick-up line -- rework it! (from Francis Reid Rowland at Standout Books)
• Go back and spruce up the description (from Marti Talbott) Very helpful examples here of the writing process as she tightens up that blurb!.

Reading these writing experts points me back to revision. 

What about you? What tips do you have to share on writing blurbs?

Today's pictures: While traveling in Scotland to research Standing Stones, we stopped at the historic Urquhart Castle, a stone fortress dating from the 13-16th Centuries that faces out on the Loch Ness (yes, the supposed home of the Loch Ness monster), and feeds the Ness River leading back to Inverness, where we stayed for several weeks.

Urquhart Castle and the Loch Ness (Camp 2009)

View from five-story Grant Tower, Urquhart Castle (Camp 2009)

My first sight of the Rowan tree (Camp 2009)

Go down revising . . .

I'm amazed by the generosity of other writers.

A few days ago, with some misgiving, I posted a fight scene that didn't ring complete. Several folks sent advice, I did a little research and this may be the final scene. You can see the 'before' in the previous post.

Standing Stones: Lord Gordon has sent guards to evict crofters and fishermen from their cottages, intending to replace them with more lucrative sheep. The story takes place in the Orkneys, 1842. Mac, Dougal, and Colin are brothers. Mac is the leader of those who resist Lord Gordon. This scene takes place about half-way through the book.

-----
     The door to the cottage crashed open. Some fifteen guards burst into the room, guns lifted over their heads as clubs as they pushed into the cottage.
     Freya screamed.
     “Hey, you can’t come in here,” Mac shouted. “Get out. Get out!” Mac shoved at one of the guards, but a wave of men he didn't know bludgeoned right and left, knocking crofters and fishermen to the floor. One of the guards grabbed Dougal’s fiddle from the wall and smashed it over Mac’s head.
     Mac roared and grabbed a stool, but it shattered as he bashed it against a guard.  
     Everyone howled and shouted. Freya screamed again and again.
     Colin went down, his head bloodied. Mac stood over him, his legs on either side of Colin’s body. “Ye bastards. Hitting a boy. Hit me. Hit me.”
     Two guards swarmed Mac, their guns raised. "He's the one. Get him."
     Mac scrambled back against the wall and settled to fight stance. Lord Gordon sent these men. We're going to lose. He had no weapon, save his fists. "Come on, then." Mac punched the face of the guard closest to him and swung on the second. He choked the guard's neck, heedless of the blows that fell on his back.
     A guard knocked Jacob into the hearth. He howled as he rolled over the smoldering peat and groaned as his arm hit the floor. They moved in on Freya. She threw a basin at them, but they wrestled her to the ground.
     “Help,” screamed Jacob. “Help! They’ve got Freya.”
     Mac could hardly breathe. With a lunge, Mac shook free of the two men who had him pinned down and scrambled to his feet. God help us. They're after the women. 
     "Over here. "We got him!" The guards rushed Mac.
     “Dougal,” yelled Mac. “Get her out.” Mac punched at the guards, but they surrounded him once again. They battered him until he fell and kicked him unconscious.

     Dougal knocked the guards aside, picked Freya up, and shoved his way to the door. “Out! Let me out.” He held Freya tight, for she was screaming in his ears, her screams a keening part of the melee.
     “For God's sake, let me out.” With a mighty push, Dougal broke through the crowded cottage and outside. He set Freya down by the stacked peat in the side yard. “Stay here. I’ll be back.”
     Dougal raced to the front door, now hanging by a hinge. He couldn't get in. He tripped on the bits of furniture that had been thrown out in the yard. Crofters and fishermen spilled into the yard, pushed out by the guards, but Mac and Colin were not among them. The roof of the cottage blazed afire. The noise mounted as guards smashed furniture and tore at the stone walls with pikes.
     “Let me back in." Dougal ran back and forth in front of the house. “Have you no shame?"
-----

What I've learned so far that may be useful to you:

• Keep the scene in the POV character.
• Revise for action! Take out any extra words and worry about doubled words later.
• Check each ACTION for a REACTION. Does the 'camera eye' zoom in?
• Get rid of -ing verbs and passive voice (my downfall).
• Add internal dialogue to bring us closer to main character.
• Help the reader experience what the characters are experiencing.

Joanna Penn's interview with Alan Baxter included this Chinese saying: "When two tigers fight, one limps away horribly wounded, the other is dead." Useful for thinking about what happens after the fight. Alan Baxter also says that fight scenes should be "fast, furious, chaotic." I tried for that.

Even Facebook writers chimed in. Jim Lion was especially helpful with pointed questions:

• How did the people on the floor get to the floor? Did they drop in fear? Did the guards put them there? 
• How many men and guards are there? 
• Who's the POV character in this scene? Tell the fight from his/her standpoint and stay there. Don't leave POV except for brief flashes of relevant specific information, like when a guard or two start dragging Freya out the door, and someone shouts to bring it to the attention of your POV character (or something like that). 
• BTW, why did the guards release Freya and swarm all over Mac? Every character in the scene needs a clear moment-to-moment goal, so we know why they fight the way they fight.

Randy Ingermanson's 24-page PDF "How to Write a Fight Scene" (compiled by Bruce Beattie) also was quite useful in giving me a 'hit list' (sorry for the pun). 

Do we count the hours when we revise? Not sure. I only know these characters matter to me. I still want to write their story as best I can, for it's time to let go and publish! Thank you for reading.  

Fight the good fight . . .

I'm a gentle person -- until I get into a meeting. Years of battling with words for my department make me feisty, especially when I'm surrounded by folks who want my budget money.

But in a physical confrontation, although I once forced a cantankerous 6 footer to back down (he wanted to plant a facer on my mother), I'm a coward. More flight than fight. Most of the time.

Now, in the final edit of Standing Stones, one of my beta readers called me out on my fight scenes, saying, "You might want to work on this a little bit."

My first stop was to find some online writing advice. WriteWorld had a neat list of links under the heading of "How To Write a Fight Scene." I've begun reading and revising. Maybe within the next few days, I can post a the revision so you can see the results. Here's the "before."

Standing Stones:  Lord Gordon has ordered guards to evict crofters and fishermen from their rented cottages on his island in the Orkneys, Scotland, 1840s. Mac hosts a meeting to resist evictions at his fisherman's cottage. 

Unrevised:

     The door to the cottage crashed open. Guards burst into the room, guns lifted over their heads as clubs.
     Freya screamed.
     “Hey, you. You can’t come in here,” Mac cried over the noise. “Get out. Get out!”
     The guards stepped on those who had been pushed to the floor.
     The men fought back. They roared and shouted and shoved. They threw furniture at the guards. Bruce fell into the hearth and howled as the smoldering peat scattered. The smoke grew thicker.
     One of the guards grabbed Dougal’s fiddle from the wall and shattered it over Sean’s head. The guards slammed the butts of their guns everywhere, blows landing on arms and backs.
     Colin went down first, his head smashed. Mac stood over him, his legs on either side of Colin’s body. “Ye bastards. Hitting a boy. Hit me. Hit me.”
     “Help,” screamed Jacob. “Help! They’re after Freya.” Two guards knocked him against the wall and he fell hard, groaning as his arm hit the floor.
     “Dougal,” yelled Mac, spotting his brother. “Get her out.” Mac fought on, but the guards swarmed him. They pinned him down on the dirt floor and began kicking him.
     Dougal picked Freya up and pushed toward the door, his way blocked by guards. “Out! Let me out,” he cried. He held Freya tightly in his arms, for she was screaming in his ears, her screams a part of the melee.
     “For God's sake, let me out,” he cried again. With a mighty push, he broke through the guards to the outside. He lay Freya down by the stacked peat in the side yard. “Stay here. I’ll be back.”
     Dougal raced back to the front door, now hanging by a hinge. He couldn't get in. He tripped on the bits of furniture that had been thrown out in the yard. Crofters and fishermen spilled into the yard, pushed out by the guards. The roof of the cottage blazed afire. The noise mounted as guards smashed furniture and tore at the stone walls with pikes.
     “Have you no shame,” cried Dougal. He ran back and forth in front of the house. “Let me back in. I just want to get our things out.”

"The Last of the Clan" by Thomas Faed (Wikipedia)

A writer waits . . .

Restless and feckless, anxious, vanquished,
I have waited for good news, sad blues,
the drop of a letter, unfettered, bettered,
by awards, words truly swords that disarm, charm,
then nothing. Was I bluffing, trusting, crushing
my hopes to publish? Rubbish.
I shall self-publish!

This week's prompt from Poets on the Page is simply, "Waiting". Although the prompt is simple, and immediately an idea came to mind, the suggested poetic form, Alliterisen, from Shadow Poetry, offers a very specific number of syllables per line (7 lines) AND requires two alliterations per line (similar sounds). I didn't quite meet the requirements of this poetic form, but perhaps this poem captures how I feel about 'waiting' as a writer.

Writing is Precious
Rebekka Plies on Flickr