"Love Story: You said, I said"
You opened the door to my knock,
your smile so wide, I could see all your teeth.
Later, you told me you peeked through the door
and saw trouble coming.
I was trouble.
You said I’m not the marrying kind,
so don’t get ideas. I didn’t.
You said, “Watch A Thousand Clowns with me.”
I curled up next to you
and never went home.
Your best friend said, “You might as well marry her.
You don’t talk about anything else.”
You said, “There are certain tax advantages
to getting married.” I said no.
You said, “I’m moving out.”
I said yes.
You hummed Beethoven’s Ode to Joy off-key
when our newborn daughter was put in your arms.
I thought it was a miracle:
Your singing, her birth,
everywhere we’ve lived, a miracle.
Three and a half decades later,
your snoring next to me, solace.
This week, the Sunday Scribblings prompt: "How did you meet your significant other, your best friend, your dog, your nemesis? On the flip side of that, are there any people in your life you have lost touch with who you wonder about? Jump to Sunday Scribblings to read more . . .
Beth: I like the beauty and elegance of the contrapuntal rhythms here, a lovely blend of humor and heartache, love's merging and fear's hesitations. Even in its spareness, it feels more cousin to my surrealism than not: I can feel enormous reverberations beneath these songs.
ReplyDeleteLove this poem! It brought a lump to my throat. And I hear you about the snoring!
ReplyDeleteWow. I really like how you juxtapose the he said-she said part throughout this poem! And you did it so smoothly too!! Wonderful, yet sad. I enjoyed this piece and can't wait to read more of your work.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for visiting my poetry site on Livejournal! It's great to meet other poets/writers when I'm just a newbie joining in onto the challenge! :) Thanks for making me feel welcome!
Oh, this is wonderful! My favorite lines: "I curled up next to you/ and never went home." and "Three and a half decades later/your snoring next to me, solace." Just beautiful.
ReplyDelete…so don’t get ideas.
ReplyDeleteI love how sneaky love can be ;-)
This is a marvelous blend of conversational style, poetry and story. My favorite lines are "You hummed Beethoven's Ode to Joy off-key / when our newborn daughter was put in your arms." That "off-key" keeps it firmly grounded in sentiment rather than sentimentality.
ReplyDeleteGood writing!
I really loved this! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete